She is someone's mother, someone's older sister, someone's daughter, someone's wife and someone's grandmother. But what Su Min wants now is not to be defined by someone else. In a very real sense, she wants to be her own person.

In September, after her twin grandsons started kindergarten, eager to shake off the domesticity of her married life, the 56-year-old jumped in her car and hit the road. Within about three months, her hometown of Zhengzhou, Henan province, was in her rearview mirror by more than 6,000 kilometers, as were dozens of cities she had visited in Sichuan, Shaanxi and Yunnan provinces. Her next destination is the coastal paradise and resort city of Sanya, Hainan province, which she hopes to reach before Spring Festival, which falls in February next year.

"Finishing all my duties as a mother, it is time to live for myself at least once. I chose a solo road trip to explore and discover the world and get away from the boredom, and sometimes pain, of a marriage lasting for more than 30 years," Su says, adding that there is no end to her journey of discovery.

Her story has been a sensation on the internet. On social media platform Sina Weibo, it has been viewed more than 80 million times and her account on short-video platform Douyin has garnered more than 187,000 followers since then. Several companies, including Tencent, have contacted her regarding the possibility of making documentaries based on her story.

Some people appreciate her as an independent woman, admiring her courage to leave a staid family arrangement, while others have identified with the sacrifice that married women often make, and the enduring sense of being "taken-for-granted".

"It is beyond my expectations that so many people feel the same and that they find my trip inspirational," Su says, adding that she hopes everyone can find things that make them enjoy life more.

As her fame continues to grow online, she finds herself more occupied with interviews, and Su has began to earn money through video clips uploaded on social media platforms like Douyin and Kuaishou. She plans to be on the road for the next three to five years, with a temporary hiatus to celebrate her grandchildren's birthday in May, before hitting the road again.

"My journey helps me dream bigger. When I earn enough money, I want to buy a recreational vehicle for my future trips," Su says, smiling and without revealing how much money she has accumulated as a result of her video creation. Since retirement, however, she draws a pension of about 2,000 yuan ($306) per month.

Duty of care

Being the firstborn in her family, from a young age, Su helped take care of her two brothers, which made her feel "underappreciated".Despite longing for an independent life, at age 23 she married her husband, who she had only met twice since being introduced to one another through a matchmaker.

Marriage, perhaps somewhat predictably, did not bring Su the freedom that she desired.

"Although we live under the same roof, I feel so disconnected with my husband in many ways－most of our conversations turn into arguments, we keep our money separate and I do all the chores, even when my husband and I were employed full-time," Su says.

They had a child, with Su taking on much of the responsibility of raising their daughter.

When her daughter gave birth to twin boys three years ago, as most Chinese grandparents do, Su helped take care of her grandchildren. In the eyes of Liu Weiwei, her son-in-law, Su is "a very kind and hardworking woman", who has been full of care for her grandchildren.

Liu, however, agrees that the relationship between Su and her husband is somewhat tense, and they seldom talk. He notes that Su was diagnosed with moderate depression last year.

The turning point arrived on a winter's day last year, when Su discovered a blog by someone sharing their road trip experiences online.

"This is exactly what I needed－to get away from family and be myself," says Su, who, several years ago, bought her five-seater hatchback with a loan.

She has been planning the trip for a year and decided to start her journey when her grandchildren went to school in September.

Finding tips for road trips and spending around 12,000 yuan on necessary appliances, including a rice cooker, a mini refrigerator and a rooftop tent, Su had about 10,000 yuan in her bank to fund the trip. Then, three months ago, she started the car, put her foot on the gas and left home.

Despite the COVID-19 pandemic, Su has adhered to social distancing policies－trying to avoid crowds and wearing masks indoors.

"I have made new friends and been to amazing places. No longer feeling stressed, I smile more and, since mid-November, I have stopped taking my anti-depressant medication," Su says.

Her daughter and son-in-law are happy to see the change in Su, from a silent mother in depression to a confident and talkative woman.

"Divorce is not a consideration, because if I find another man, he is more likely to be older than me, which means that I have to take care of yet another person," Su says, adding that there are also financial factors to consider.

Her husband refused China Daily's interview request.

Driving a discussion

To make ends meet during her trip, she uploaded videos about her journey online, which have gone viral and contributed to a deep conversation about a woman's role in marriage.

Li Sipan, a woman's rights advocate in Guangzhou, Guangdong province, comments on Sina Weibo that many women share the same experience in their marriages, but Su is one of the few to have the guts to leave and talk frankly about her feelings.

"Su's story is the same as many women. Before marriage, she was the unfavored sister to her brothers. In marriage, her husband displays little concern about her as she looks after the home, their daughter and her grandchildren, ignoring her own needs," Li says, adding that even though she has a found a way out, it is, unfortunately, temporary, as she still has to return home at some point.

"As brave and independent as Su is, she cannot afford to divorce, which illustrate that a rethink about the current social system is required," Li adds.

According to China's traditional socio-cultural code, women are expected to stay in a marriage, no matter whether it is good or bad. There is an old Chinese saying, "If you marry a rooster, you stay with the rooster; if you marry a dog, you stay with the dog".

While it is a social contract consigned to the past, there are those in society that still cling to such beliefs. According to a report released by the National Bureau of Statistics in 2019, a married woman is expected to do most housework and take care of the elderly and children, even if she has a job. Chinese women on average spend more than 2 hours and 6 minutes a day on housework, compared with their male partners mere 45 minutes. In the average working day, women work 28 minutes less than men who work nearly eight hours every day.

It means that there is a clearly unequal division of labor, especially for working mothers, who shoulder more household responsibility than their partners, while sharing a similar financial burden.

For Ding Shiding, an author in Qingdao, Shandong province, women born after 1960, like Su, are different from the previous generation, most of whom saw their lives depend on husbands.

"Su is independent economically and psychologically," Ding says, adding that she has the freedom and can afford to explore the possibilities in life, which is kind of an improvement.

It is not only Su, though. An increasing number of women in China have challenged the traditional thinking on marriage, with men as the breadwinner and the social stigma of divorce. Chinese women were granted the right to divorce in 1950.

Zhou Qiang, the president of the Supreme People's Court told at a speech in Tsinghua University in November last year that nearly 74 percent of divorces in China are initiated by women.

Li Mingshun, a law professor at China Women's University, says amid the fast social development in China, people care more about the quality of their marriages.

In Western countries, such as the United States and the United Kingdom, women are reported to initiate divorce far more than men. In a 2015 study on US divorce cases, Michael Rosenfeld, an associate professor of sociology at Stanford University, wrote: "I think that marriage as an institution has been a little bit slow to catch up with expectations for gender equality."